boytellsall

I listened to myself today and it was not good.

It was like the time I was standing at the bottom of the tobogganning hill when I was 10.  I wasn’t paying attention and then Lisa Lahey came winging down the slope on one of those flying saucer dish thingies and took me out.  Feet shot out from underneath me and I came down hard.  I could hear myself talking but it was like I was watching myself from somewhere far away.

I console myself with the fact that it is Nimos who is the salesman extraordinaire.  It’s not really me.  Nimos is all the things I am not.  Or maybe he’s just the part of me I don’t want to face.  Who knows?

But Nimos is unironic.  Nimos is sincere.  When he’s selling, there is no doubt that you are buying. Nimos speaks in low, soothing tones.  Nimos laughs at all of your unfunny jokes.  No, Nimos says, your ass does not look fat in those pants.

No one likes to say no to Nimos.

I effing hate Nimos.